Well what is up? I know I’ve been off the radar lately: two years to be exact. But I am back, and better than ever. Haha, I wish that were true.
I recently transferred schools from University of Illinois to Illinois State. Some people find this to be super odd because I left a “prestigious Big Ten school” blah blah blah. But honestly my anxiety was unhealthy there, I had situational depression and I visited home like every week. I clearly did not want to be there and I finally made the decision to transfer. I was mostly nervous about my boyfriend and I being at the same school, and my instincts were correct at first. He tried to break up with me the first week of school without us ever even having a fight. Thank god we talked it out because I am still in the process of adjusting and that would have been so frightening.
Anyway, I’m really enjoying myself now. I joined the school paper as a blogger and I can’t wait to see how this improves my writing skills and my networking skills as well. I also plan to join the PRSSA (Public Relations Student Society of America) and with my PR major, that should really help me further my career.
Hopefully I get my shit together this year. I hate feeling lost and unsure of myself all the time.
Honestly, this life is pretty great. I can’t complain about much these days, but I’m getting nervous. College starts in roughly 18 days and I just don’t know if I’m quite ready to go. Like sure I’ve complained about my town as anyone does. The whole, “Ugh there is nothing to do here” bullshit… Anyway I guess I’m just afraid of unfinished business here at home. I know it’s going to be the best 4 years of my life but man it came fast so I know it’ll only go faster. Lately I’ve been drinking more and I keep waking up regretting something or feeling some type of awkward. I really need to get my shit together. I really do. But I can handle this. It’s exciting but scary as all hell.
So some people don’t know when enough is enough. I feel like a big majority of people just suck dick at understanding when to stop being an idiot. The boy I used to “date” ended things with me 3 months ago, then again 2 months after that for the same reason, “Oh college is coming and I don’t want to have to leave you” bullshit. And now he continually favorites my social media posts, and even ones from days ago, then he will try to snapchat me. I sometimes answer but last time I sent him a snap, he didn’t respond.. but then he snap chatted me again a few days later and I’m like “YO ASSHOLE, FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE FEELING BC THIS MUTUAL GAME-PLAYING BULLSHIT IS PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF. Mutual respect or there ain’t shit between us. So either fuck the fuck off, or be a normal ass human being. Thank you. (rant is done).
So it’s been four long weeks and I am still so sick. I went to a convenience doctor last week, and he said after my strep my immune system was just much slower than usual and that I probably just have a common cold. Well, two weeks later I’m still coughing and today my real doctor diagnosed me with bronchitis and a sinus infection. I only have 10 days to recover before I go on vacation. PLEASE HEAL ME. Anyway, my ex is doing what he always does when trying to get back with me. This morning he favorited all of my tweets from yesterday. Classic. He wants me to spark a convo after that but I know better than to keep getting burnt by the same god damn flame. Going to bed at 4 in the afternoon because I am dead.
As America woke up today to find out that our definition of equality has grown much larger, peace began to flow through not only the lives of those directly affected but also the lives of the supporters, the friends and the families. Today is a beautiful day to be an American citizen. Scotus has been praised over almost all forms of social media for his final vote, leading the supreme court to its final 5-4 ruling in favor of gay marriage across the United States. Snapchat, YouTube, Tumblr, AT&T, T-Mobile, Satrbucks, WordPress, and many many other brands have already expresses excessive joy to those gay and lesbian couples who finally reached justice. I can’t help but get goosebumps when watching all of the stories and videos unravel across the internet. Truly a beautiful day here in the USA. Love is love: and love always wins.
So there is this extremely attractive 21 year old that recently started working at my office for his mother (I work at a real estate company), and I’ve been like admiring him from afar but the only interactions we ever share are passing each other in the hall when he won’t even look at me. Embarrasing, but he finally walked in the other day and said, “Good morning,” and me? What do I say? Nothing. Cause I’m still a child and can’t respond to attractive people. So I try to avoid him in all ways now, but today I was extremely unlucky and he was heading out of the office and had to pass me.. So he comes through the lobby and says, “See you later,” and I ACTUALLY RESPONDED. Thank the fucking lord am I right? I said, “See ya.” And even though that is like basically nothing, I’m so proud of myself hahaha. #BecomingAnAdultFinally
I’ve never been this sick in my life. I have currently missed 32 hours of work this week, I have hung out with absolutely 0 friends this week, and I’ve woken up every morning at 3am for about an hour, then proceeded to wake up FOR THE DAY at 5:50 am every morning. Sure catching the 6am sunrise is awesome… every once in awhile.. but not every day. I tried going to work yesterday but everyone proceeded to tell me that I sounded awful and that they didn’t think I should be there. I didn’t go in today because I had the pleasure of waking up with a fever and my throat throbbing into my ears. What fun huh? This is definitely not how I wanted to begin my summer vacation before college. I’ve been trying everything to get better.. I cried this morning and I’ll admit that plain as fuck. I’m not used to being sick and unable to participate in daily activities this long ever. Anyway, I’ll try to move on to the more cheery/peppy side of this post. Recently, I’ve been summoned to participate in a Tough Mudder with my sister for her birthday this coming September. No way am I agile and trained enough for that right now, but if i bust my ass this summer, I think it would be really exciting. My sister almost died when she did one 2 years ago. You sign a death waiver, did I mention that? If you die, it’s on you, not the race. Clearly I’ll have to wait until I’m remotely healthy again to even begin training for it, but as of now I can start eating healthier and drinking more water. This year I’ve dropped 15 lbs in fat already and I feel like the Mudder would be a good motivator in me keeping up with my workouts and staying trim. We shall surely see. LET ME BE HEALTHY NOW PLEASE. That wasn’t very cheery/peppy. Sorry for ruining your expectations.